Look. It’s a hard time. We’re all struggling, each of us in our own way. And on top of all that, I’m a planner. My creativity is rarely spontaneous. I brainstorm. I think of every possibility. I get lost in the weeds. I lose sight of the forest for the trees. I spend more time complaining about making art than I do actually making the art.
In spite of all that, I wrote a narrative rpg in two days with no prep. It wasn’t the game I was planning to write, the one I’ve been saying I would write for months and years. It wasn’t even something I particularly wanted to write. I went from idea to product in a few scattered hours, and I have never felt more unlike myself, and I have never had more fun.
Here’s what I learned: Creativity can be a small thing, wedged in among other commitments. It is possible, even in these most trying of times, for me to make space to create in my every day life. Yes, I have school, and a job, and all the other mental/emotional demands of quarantine, but I also have this: my hands on the keys, turning ideas into text, the purest reminder that I am alive and that I matter. Not everything I write has to be perfect, or even good. I can sit down and hammer out a game for the hell of it. It doesn’t have to be the project I’ve been carrying close to my heart. I don’t ever have to show it to anyone, or playtest it, or publish it.
This game, though? Y’all are gonna see it, and you aren’t ready for it.